Post Mortem Special: Every Single Rejection Email This Year From McSweeney’s
Or, when you pitch to your dream publication all year and get the same polite “no” every time.
I love McSweeney’s Internet Tendency. For anyone unfamiliar, it’s the home of smart, literary humour. Founded by Dave Eggers in 1998, McSweeney’s publishes short, sharp, absurdist comedy pieces that reward close reading. It’s funny and makes me laugh.
It’s my number one dream publication. Yes, it is very American, but there is space for quirky British voices too. Some topics work across cultures. My favourite recent pieces include Revised Definitions of the Verb “To Google”, Times New Roman Turns Right and Home Alone, Updated for the Age of Surveillance which are all very representative of its high-concept comedy and detailed attention to craft.
Anyway, here’s what makes McSweeney’s special for submitting writers: no matter what you send them, the editor Christopher Monks will send you a reply.
Yes, no silence here. He reads every pitch, and sends an actual human response, usually within days.
But, Chris wears an editorial suit of armour. He doesn’t reveal that much. His standard response is “thanks but no thanks,” so if you get even a single extra adjective like this was “fun” or “silly”, that, short of actual publication, counts as a win. And as you’ll see below, I have a few tiny victories this year.
McSweeney’s is a high bar. The highest, in my view for comedy writers. I’ve found it the place where anyone who rates themselves as a humour writer really wants to be published. The competition is fierce.
So below are all the pieces I sent this financial year, just the headlines, with replies from Chris. If you get anything like this yourself, let me know. And please, don’t ever be disheartened or take out your frustrations on him. Chris is doing the hard work of reading every submission, responding promptly, and maintaining one of the last quality literary humour sites on the internet.
Join me for a year of pitching to McSweeny’s…
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